I’ve got to say is me.
Well, our seniors have grauduated.
Now it’s our turn.
I don’t know how I feel about anything yet. You get used to seeing someone for about 5ish years…I always had someone to look up to, someone to lean on, someone to just be there…now 3 months from now we are all going back to the same school…except for our seniors. I’m glad they all made it, I can’t wait to see the people they become. But right now its like dang, that senior I looked up to so much…is now being role played by me.
The year flew by. And honestly…right now I’m a bit scared. I promised myself to not waste a day…not even a minute. I have to make this year the best for me…because there won’t be another one like this.
Well here go Seniors 2014.
So I went to practice today like the usual. We did pad drills (which are usually my favorite) but thr class wasn’t as fun.
There’s a group of yellow belt boys with a big head. They think they’re the best, but they put in no effort to do better ot to fix their mistakes. Eventually our instructor gets frustrated and his face almost looks like he wish they didn’t come to class.
What I’m trying to get to is listen kid, you’re not going to get any better with a crap attitude. Hes yelling at you cause he notices you. Dont you want someone to help you fix mistakes? If you don’t like it, take a break. Think about it. Is this what you want to do? Its a demanding sport. You can’t half ass it and expect to be amazing.
Its been difficult, ain’t gonna lie. Most days I’m sore and I think “do I really have to go today?” But once I get there I’m always sooooooo glad I did.
I’m off on everything I’m doing. I’m a little too close. I’m a little too far. I missed it a little. I wavered a little. I was a little too slow. A little too fast. A little to this, a little to that. Its annoying, but that’s expected isn’t it?
The people around me are going so fast, they execute their motion hard. I don’t know if they path I’m choosing is correct, but for now I’m going my own pace…at my best execution. ..hopefully the speed will come back later…right now I just want to be able to have my basics back.
But I’m not going to give up, not until the very last second, I won’t.
Well today was the first day at training!!!! It was an “easy” day but oh my goodness…so exhuasting! !!!
I looked around me and everyone is going at top speed…a part of me wants to go fast too..but I remember mr tony said “don’t sweat the speed…do the technique. ..speed comes later.” So I think that’s what ill do. Ill be slow now…but ill be precise. You can bet on that!
For the past month, my brst friend and I have been doing our own training to get in somewhat shape for a tkd comeback. We know we are FAR from were we are supposed to And from where we want to be.
So today was the day to speak to our instructor.
As we got closer we got even more nervous. I know I did. It took me 15 minutes to walk through that door. I mean, what was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do? What would master say? What would he do? I know it may seem like I was way too worried…maybe I was…but this man…I have so much respect for him, how am I even close of being worthy enough to come back?
Well he saw us. And smiled and laughed. Instantly the atmosphere around us changed. The class felt lighter, my stomach settled down, everything seemed brighter.
The way he was happy to see us…the way he so gladly welcomed us….the way our old classmates were excited to greet us…where else can you go and make such an impact?
We went to our old lockers and our stuff was never touched. Our hogos are covered in dust, and our lockers were difficult to open since they haven’t been touched. Notes thay we wrote..since we were 6 to 14 years old were still there. Our olympic dream was written there…our friends who now moved to different places were there…our photographs….our drawings….everything.
What can place will hold onto you like that?
We walked on the floor and the blue mat felt so nice under my feet. It had enough of a bounce so your feet could fly freely…but it was also strong enough to hold you when you fall. The bags wete bandaged up…they’ve been through the pain that we went through…the long hours of training…it took a toll on them too. The mirrors were the same but they showed a different person. The person who left was confident, full of dreams and energy…the person I saw was nervous…worn down…a bit frightened. .. but at least she looked like a burden she was holding…finally fell off her shoulders.
Our instructor looked at us again. And he said
“What kind of place will remember you? Life isn’t a straight line…sometimes you ll have to leave…but its okay to come back. This is your home.”
Gosh dang I missed it so much.
The training starts now.
I cant even express how much I love it. I feel free and in place when I’m with them. I feel comfortable and accepted for who I am. And its really cool because we are like our own little secret thing. What I mean is you’d never know that they are martial artists when they’re in their street…